RCNi Mental Health Nurse of the year 2019... and it's still sinking in!

It is the final few days for nominations for the RCNi Nurse Awards. These are open to nurses, midwives, health visitors, nursing students, health care assistants, assistant practitioners, and of course associate nurses. You have until Friday 17th to enter!

When I started my blog, my intention, as the name indicates was to mix it up between nursing posts, and personal, mental health related. However, it hasn't quite been like that, as my experiences of mental health services (or at times disservices) had a profound impact on me in 2019. However, I am in a better place now. And my energy and passion for my role, for the NHS and of course #LetsTalkAboutSex has returned once again (it didn't really go away, I just had fewer spoons to give).

Anyway, I decided that today was the day that I would document what has happened to me since the 3rd of July 2019, and I hope that it inspires you to nominate yourself, or someone else, who you think deserves to 'take my crown'. I thought I would do it month by month, how it has only been six months, when I feel I have experienced and grown so much astounds me.

July 3rd:

It still surprises me that I am a finalist for the category. I was due to attend a 'dress rehearsal', but I managed to get lost. Tripped. Cried. (It was my second day off of crutches and it was the fear of undoing six weeks of rehabilitation). Walked in to the hotel. Felt overwhelmed. Walked out again. Walked back in. I remember meeting Nick, the editor of Mental Health Practice in the elevator. He reassured me, told me something along the lines of I deserved to be there, and helped me to convince myself that I did belong and tonight was going to be a night that I would cherish forever.

I am still surprised that I even nominated myself for the award. It is so out of keeping of my view of myself and what I have to offer the world. But I also knew that becoming a finalist offered a platform for my work to be shared and to become something bigger. This was one small project in a forensic mental health setting, that focused on sexual expression and social skills training, but it needed to be so much more. That those with mental illness are denied the 'sexual health' freedoms that many of us take for granted; are more likely to have sexually transmitted infections, blood borne virus's, be survivors of trauma; domestic or sexual violence - both prior to developing mental health difficulties and afterwards, have unplanned pregnancies, multiple partners, or the experience of sexual symptoms or side effects of medication was something that I felt as a nurse, I could no longer ignore. We could no longer ignore.

I would like to say that I soon settled in to the hotel, but it was like none other I have ever stayed in! The bath was a jacuzzi for f' sake (sorry for swearing). But I wanted to enjoy every moment as opportunities don't come around like this... well ever.

From the ceremony itself, I remember the food! Hearing the inspirational stories. Feeling proud, and still somewhat in shock that my name was among them. And then came my category. And well. I won.

And I still didn't believe it. So much so that I genuinely went to sleep with a glass weight in my arms.

July

But this genuinely was just the beginning.

First there were the days afterwards, the congratulations, the celebrations. The opportunity to share a little part of my own story, my own journey in the hope that it may inspire others to believe that anything is possible. An Africa Pride event that I shared, with my colleagues, but also with Positive East, and especially Tresca who has been one of my biggest cheer leaders since day 1 of this work.

The front cover of a magazine, stories on the trust intranet, the local newspapers...Some flowers from the Chief Nurse (which 6 months later I am still drying to turn into pot pouri!)

August

In August I tried to create a 'contact list' of people that had got in touch since the award. To share the literature, the data, the quality improvement methodology and the inspiration for the project. These included people 'up and down' the country. And beyond.

I also contributed, as I had previously as a carer and service user, but now as an 'expert' to the design of the Sexual Safety collaborative, attending workshops and focus groups. I am quite honoured that my suggestion of post cards in order to collect data was taken on board, and so feel like I have a small part to play in the project going forward. I hope I have done those that use our services justice, in ensuring that the standards are the voice, not only of those that are paid to care for others, but those who we have been paid to care for and have failed.

September

September was the month in which I started to bring sexual health to the agenda in my new role at City & Hackney Centre for Mental Health. Linking in with local services. Designing posters, flyers, leaflets. Attending away days and educating staff about the purpose and process of screening. We have had a slow start, but are ready to fully launch in February. Leaflets already produced include sexual safety and sexual health screening, however, I will soon finish the designs for sexual orientation and sexual dysfunction. I have been very lucky to have the 'services' of one of our patient participation reps, and the many people on twitter that commented, gave advice, criticism, and were willing to support me to get them right.

October

October was a BUSY month!
First of all I presented the quality improvement project at the launch of the Royal College of Psychiatrists Sexual Safety Collaborative. I felt really nervous on the day. But as ever, Nick was around and very complimentary; whilst also acknowledging that my nerves showed; honest feedback is the best feedback!

However, this prepared me for travelling to Sheffield Health and Social Care Trust. This day was, hmm, I guess I would say transformational. Inspired by the honesty and bravery of the testimonies both at the launch of the collaborative and by two very special people; one who I now have the privilege of calling my friend, who shared them with me, to offer accounts of why the work into improving sexual safety on the ward matters and is needed right now, gave me the opportunity to heal some of my own wounds. I spoke for the first time about my own experiences of rape. And the impact of receiving a diagnosis of personality disorder. (This is something that I will dedicate more time to in the future). I also blogged about it. It was freeing.

And later on in that month, I got to fulfil another ambition of mine. A 3 hour workshop at Oxford Brookes University, titled 'Lets Talk About Sex'. Final year nursing students were taught how to use the 'STARTER model' to embrace conversations, as well as the reasons for moving beyond personal discomfort, concerns about boundary violation, or a mismatch of gender, culture, or age. They rated their willingness and readiness both before and after the session, and I am confident that we have a whole new cohort of newly qualified nurses who will practice in this holistic way.

November

In November I submitted my second attempt at revising a paper. To even have had it not rejected in the first place was complimentary enough. I am looking forward to seeing it in print, but more so, the potential it has to reach fellow mental health nursing professionals, and encourage them to start to have conversations around the umbrella of sexual health with their patients; to sign post them for further learning, and to know when and how to refer to external services when organisational/personal barriers 'get in the way'.

December

Following an incident on the ward, and feeling able to, but not entirely equipped to support the response to it, I decided to 'try my luck' and ask for 'something back' for the time I have invested in my work. This would mean that my directorate would need to pay for me to embark on Independent Sexual Violence Advisor Training, with the Survivor's Trust. To my shock, and delight I was given the go ahead. This will mean that not only can I support staff and patient's following disclosures of recent or historical sexual harassment, assault or abuse, but I will be able to share the knowledge with staff across the unit, so that they too can feel confident in the support that they can offer.

I also met with the  CEO, Director of Nursing, and Medical Director to share the work that I have been doing, and my hopes to disseminate it across the trust.


January

This has been one of the most significant months since the win. Whereby I can see my vision for the future starting to take shape. I am among like minded people ready for change. A new driver diagram, this time, how we can co-ordinate the work that is already going on across the trust, and create a culture where it is the norm 'to talk about sex'. Sexual health, sexual safety, sexual dysfunction and sexual orientation.

What next!?

So, here we are, at the start of a new year. With a new goal. The missing link in the work that was already going on was 'trauma informed approaches'; trauma informed approaches to discussions about sexual health, sexual safety, sexual dysfunction and sexual orientation. Below you can see the very early vision; but I envisage LGBTQ+ patient support networks, advance directives with regard to gender identity, care plans that recognise iatrogenic trauma and the steps that will be taken to do our very best to do 'no harm'; honest discussions about restraint, gender of care giver, triggers and responses. Freedom to speak up sexual safety ambassadors; both staff and patients, trained ISVAs in every locality, sensitive sexual health screening for those that wish to have it, and discussions about  side effects; the psychological, social and physical impact. With backing from the board, and with the contributions of an equal number of patient representatives and staff on the steering group, these things may just become a reality.

Oh and I also have had 1 and a bit papers accepted for publication... which is something that I could have only dreamed of 6 months ago! And there are discussions about more. And had the privilege of being an 'honoury editor' on the Mental Health Practice Journal (a role I will be sad to let go) as well as being called an 'expert' in the Mental Health Nursing field (thanks Cath!) Oh... and asked to speak at the ELFT Womens Network Conference. I will also be undertaking CRAASH training - a course I found online for free, to further my knowledge of contraception, sexually transmitted infections, termination of pregnancy. I am sure there are many more opportunities I have had, and failed to mention, and many more to come.

So watch this space.

P.S I also have a full time job. This is all just a hobby :-)

I hope I have inspired you to nominate yourself, even if you think you don't deserve it, I didn't either, but your patients do.

I have had so much fun writing this. This could be you next year too! Never give up on your dreams ;